Who's Your Daddy
by drakensis
Summary: Isis Marik knows what she wants for Christmas - and she's going after it like the true daughter of a Successor Lord. (Epistolary format one-shot).


From: Isis Marik

To: Daddy

Re: Christmas

Hi

I know you're secretly having your minions reading my mail (since you abandoned me and Mom I'm sure you're not doing this personally but maybe knowing you've missed my last 13 birthdays will convince them to bring this to your attention) so I thought I'd let you know what I'd like for Christmas.

One (1) Victor Ian Steiner-Davion.

Is that too much to ask?

love and kisses, your daughter

Isis.

* * *

From: Captain-General Thomas Marik

To: Isis Marik

Re: Christmas

Isis

1\. I only read your private mail when it's addressed to me and the only minions who read it are my secretary screening inbound messages for hate mail and your secretary checking outbound correspondence's spelling.

2\. No.

3\. Hell no.

4\. Tidy your room, young lady.

Captain-General Thomas Marik

* * *

From: Isis Marik

To: Not-Daddy

Cc: ComStar Routing

Re: Christmas

Sir,

You appear to have accidentally received my mail addressed to a third party. I apologise, but really, rude much?

I'm sure ComStar will redirect my mail to the ACTUAL Thomas Marik, right?

And my room is just fine!

Isis.

* * *

From: Captain-General Thomas Marik

To: Isis Marik

Re: Christmas

Isis

I'm making an appointment for you with a therapist, your abandonment issues are showing.

As for your room, underwear belongs in your underwear drawer, not under your bed.

Captain-General Thomas Marik

* * *

From: Isis Marik

To: Daddy

Cc: Not-Daddy, Joshua's Mommy

Re: Christmas

Daddy!

Help! Your doppelganger is rooting around my underwear drawer! What sort of freak did you abandon me to!

Seriously, I want my prince and if I don't get him I will take extreme measures. You don't want that, do you?

Daddy's Little Princess

Isis.

* * *

From: Joshua's Mommy

To: Isis

CC: Thomas

Re: Thomas

Isis, I'm not sure what all the rest of that about, but I've told my husband to stay out of your room.

It's still a mess though, so sort that out.

Thomas! Couch!

Sophina

* * *

From: Captain-General Thomas Marik

To: Isis

Re: Christmas

HOW DID YOU KNOW!

* * *

From: The REAL Thomas Marik

To: Isis

Re: Christmas

HOW DID YOU KNOW!

* * *

From: Isis Marik

To: Daddy

Cc: Not-Daddy

Re: Christmas

You mean it was supposed to be a secret?

I'm not kidding, btw. _Measures_. I'm not seeing any future Archon-Princes on my doorstep and I have the FWL's top reporters on my sending list.

Isis

* * *

From: The REAL Thomas Marik

To: Isis

Re: Christmas

Isis Marik you WILL tell me how you found out about this.

Tom.

* * *

From: Isis Marik

To: Daddy

Re: Christmas

Attachment: Tom&Paul_in_

For the record: I do not bluff.

And this is just stage one.

Isis

* * *

From: The REAL Thomas Marik

To: Captain-General Thomas Marik

CC: Paul Marik

Re: photos

You have to help me find out how she found us out!

Paul, you have a daughter, how can we handle this?

Tom.

* * *

From: Paul Marik

To: The REAL Thomas Marik

Re: photos

She and Corrine hacked my terminal. Sorry.

Paul.

* * *

From: The REAL Thomas Marik

To: Paul Marik

Re: photos

You MORON!

What stays in Vegas is supposed to STAY in Vegas.

Who did you have securing your terminal, the Keystone Cops?

Tom.

* * *

From: Paul Marik

To: The REAL Thomas Marik

Re: photos

SAFE. What can I say?

Unfortunately I don't know how much they got but Corrine's getting everything she asks for this Christmas.

Paul.

* * *

From: Captain-General Thomas Marik

To: The REAL Thomas Marik

Re: The Isis situation

Paul and I put our heads together and we've come up with a plan.

We're going to be men about this, face the inevitable and grovel until she takes pity on us. How soon can you get Victor Steiner-Davion to Atreus?

Captain-General Thomas Marik

* * *

From: The REAL Thomas Marik

To: Captain-General Thomas Marik

Re: The Isis situation

I bet it sounded like a bunch of coconuts.

How the hell am I supposed to do that!?

Tom.

* * *

From: Captain-General Thomas Marik

To: The REAL Thomas Marik

Re: The Isis situation

You're the 'secret Master of mankind', think of something.

Oh, and after several hours on my knees cleaning out all the crap she'd got under her bed, she told me some cockanamie tale that she's travelled back from a dystopian future where the Free Worlds League schism, Kerensky's Armies return and she spent a decade having to kiss up to Sun-Tzu Liao. HOWEVER! I have done some checks and it seems she had another blood test done against me and it didn't match the one done when you checked she was YOUR heir. THAT'S how she found us out.

I've done my part, you do yours.

Captain-General Thomas Marik

* * *

From: The REAL Thomas Marik

To: Captain-General Thomas Marik

Re: The Isis situation

Okay, I've had a brilliant idea.

Contact Hanse Davion about having Joshua treated for his leukaemia at NAIS. They treated Candace Liao for some sort of cancer recently so maybe they can help him. Then lure him subtly into offering a marriage of state between Victor and Isis to bring the League into the Federated Commonwealth.

Just make sure he's wearing a bib, the slavering may get intense.

Tom.

* * *

From: Melissa Steiner-Davion

To: Isis Marik

Re: Victor

I detect a woman's hand in recent diplomacy between my husband and your father. Very smooth.

Be warned, I expect my little boy to be handled with care.

Your future mother-in-law

Melissa


End file.
